Ignorance is bliss

Lou Maze, RMG humour writer

by LOU MAZE
RMG Humour Writer

If people are talking about you, it means you are not dead. If they are saying only nice things, it means you are.

Some people obsess about what others may be saying about them. On the map of life, this particular trail should be labeled TWTM: The Way to Madness.

I have surprised new friends by asking them not to tell me what people are saying behind my back. For one of my friends this was torture. You could see it percolating inside her.

I have limited energy. I have just enough to ensure I am treated with respect when I am present. What happens when I am not present is none of my business — Lou Maze, humour writer

“The people who talk behind your back are bad enough,” my Mom said, “But the ones who tell you what they said are even worse.”

Sometimes people don’t say things to your face because they don’t want to hurt you. The folks who tell you what they said don’t share this concern.

I have limited energy. I have just enough to ensure I am treated with respect when I am present. What happens when I am not present is none of my business.

Hearing what unkind people have said is an unnecessary upset and there is no course of action available, which preserves one’s dignity.

Confronting a backstabber would require me to begin a statement with, “So and so said you said I…” And I’m sorry. I can’t utter a sentence like that, unless my brains have fallen out of my head and are keeping my feet warm. I never did it on the playground at recess and I’m not starting now.

Sometimes the speaker doesn’t care about hurting you, but about you hurting them. This means you have been successful at asserting yourself. They are just a little bit frightened of you. It is useful to give people the impression you could “go off at any minute.” This renders them just leery enough to treat you with politeness and respect, when you are eyeball-to-eyeball.

I try to be as open as possible about my life, so when the tongues start wagging, they are at least working with some semblance of truth. How far they stray from the original truth is all up to them and their creativity.

Some people insist they do not care what others think of them. I do care.

If I didn’t, I would be halfway to being a sociopath. I just don’t care enough to drive myself around the bend over it.

Did you know the Goat could not operate without people buying the newspaper? Subscribe today!